I have been in a rock-climbing slump for the last two weeks. Every day I think “Monica, get in the car and drive to the gym”. The gym is not that far from my house. I drive there every weekend for work. For whatever reason, the idea of trying to climb just depresses me. It makes me want to dig myself deeper into the blankets.
I love rock-climbing so much. That has not and never will change. So, it makes me wonder why I seem to have such a strong aversion to it right now. Here are a couple of my theories:
1) I am afraid.
I know for a fact that my climbing skill is nowhere near as powerful as it was before my recent flare-up. Before December I was doing so well, I was pushing myself, I was strong and capable on the wall. I know that every time I flare up, I lose a lot of my strength. Maybe I am just afraid to try and fail until I am 100% sure I will come back at the same place.
Yes, I know that is a ridiculous thought. If I want to be as strong as I was, then I need to continue to work out and climb. I can’t expect to be the same strength if I just rest for two months.
2) The “Honey-Moon” period is over.
Let’s face it: until last July, I hadn’t been able to climb in over a year. When I started back up again, it was new and exciting. Sure, I climbed for 7 years before that, but the fact that I wasn’t physically able to do the sport made this time different. Now that I can climb every day it is not as exciting and it is part of my routine. It is just one more thing to tick of my to-do list.
Who the heck knows. I know it is my brain and my emotions but I have no idea why I am feeling this way. I started to climb again a little bit and even though it doesn’t feel all that great, I can feel myself getting back into it. So, at least there is that!
For those of you who read this blog: Do you ever feel this way about your sport? Maybe I am just reading way too much into this.
Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.