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Back in June, I quit my full-time job. I felt great within days. The absence of stress really affected how my body felt. For two months, the frequency and severity of my flares were less. I climbed more often and became more active.

Then, for no apparent reason, I flared up badly. I had trouble managing my daily routine. My activity level dropped significantly, and with it, so did my positive mentality. I became more depressed, lethargic, and anxious.

This all happened when I was on 8mg of prednisone. I was thrilled. This was the closest I had come to my life-time “maintenance” dose of 5mg since I was diagnosed.

I was allowed to increase the prednisone, as needed, so I decided to increase to 11mg. It didn’t do anything. Reluctantly, I increased to 12mg. For me, 12mg of prednisone brought insomnia, anxiety, and mood changes. Anything higher and I was a wreck, so I proceeded with caution.

I stayed on 12mg for a week and ,physically, I felt great. My energy level increased and I was more willing to stay active. My mood didn’t get any better. I figured it was because of the medication so I’ve started to decrease, in hopes that I would become more positive. I am at 10mg but I still feel lousy.

When I look back over the last year, I see that I felt the lowest in August. Why August? The weather is beautiful, there is a ton to do, it stays light out for longer, but I still feel depressed. I change my routine but I still feel restless. I don’t want to go out or hang out with friends. Before, I’d jump at the chance to make plans, but now I have to force myself to be social.

 

I’ve been in the same place for three years now and maybe I just need a change of scenery. Hopefully, I can manage a vacation weekend, just to clear my head. It’s possible I just feel stagnant.

 

I’m hoping, like last year, this is just a phase and soon I will feel better but I’m struggling to pin point why I feel this way.

 

Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

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